Tuesday, January 31, 2017

310117

this year gonna be the most sien new year i ever been 

u know how 'nothing to do' i am until i am blogging now 
full of thoughts actually 
gonna write it down 

well, had a deep chat with my 16years bestfriend
it was really great to see him happy now 
finally he move on and found her true love 
i hope she's the one 
he told me 'passionate' 
love is passion , he said 
and i saw that through his eyes 
i was kind of envy his girl , cause i know he really fell in love with her 
so hard so hard 
and i was wondering , AM I LUCKY ENOUGH TO MEET THE ONE 
he brought her everywhere , he did whatever he wants to make her happy 
he wanted to see her all the time 
damn , the girl is really lucky to meet him tho 
okay , i was envying , i admit it 

so 
today is the 13th day we met 
i know i fucked up , because i do care about u 
more than u do , i wonder 
i trust u , but i don't trust her 
she is in your life , and i wonder how u get to move on when she is still in your life 
i admit it , i am insecure , i always do 
and u just don't explain , or maybe say something 
to make me feel good 
i know she can't be replace , of course she can't 
u used to had her for the past 7 years 
i understand u need time ? 
but no one can assure u won't go back to her 
even you yourself 
asking me back' what if u are not the one i want , what if i am the one who leave'
no, not gonna be 
because i know myself well 
i don't get attached so easily 
once i did , i fucked up 
that's my weakness 
u are my weakness now 
i decided to give you some time 
but i not sure whether it is right or wrong 
like long said, either i became xiaosan or i get hurt in the end 
it sounds harsh right 
no happy ending 
however 
i must say that i believe u deep down insides my heart 
don't ask me why , i just did 
might so wrong 
maybe i really hope us make it 
maybe u honest with me, but keni banned this 
maybe there's a trip for us 
maybe i just trust u 
it would be great if i get to know 'future' 
i don't know 
i just wanna u be mine 
but take it slow , really take it slow 
我不知道我们会走到哪里 但我真的希望到最后站在你旁边的人是我

u are my biggest surprise in 2017 
this is the first time i wish what mummy said is bullshits 

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